Archive for Marina’s Blog

The ignorance of people or is it just bad luck???

So now the moment had arrived, everyone packed and ready to go. If it only were a holiday but no alas it was time to take David (hubby) to a hospital that virtually took 12 hours in a car. It was also a trip that would give me answers to a lot of questions.

When we arrived it was pitch black, I parked in front  of the unit,  it was the middle of the night raining and obviously this section of the hospital was closed. Our appointment wasn't for another few hours.

I couldn't sleep it was time to face the experts and what they could do for my family, finally the doors opened. We all got out stretched our legs and went in , our little one is the exception she was still crawling at this stage. David was a bit withdrawn still suffering from ataxia and needing assistance getting up those steps, when I met David he was a fit slim build frame man but at this point he was frail skin and bones, gaunt looking man (I could see his frustration once having an abled body now having to rely on everyone).

The girls didn't know what was happening,  why we were there or any of  what was occuring. It seems like a mere blurr what happened with the head honcho, well David' specialist (which I'll refer to Dr B), he spoke to us about our options. One, David to stay in his care to see how he went with treatmnent, we were to test me also and see if I had HIV (in Dr B's opinion it was not necessary to test the kids at this stage). Or option two, David could go home and perish.

I think you know what option we took, as David was led to the ward well he was lagging behind Dr B. Now I have to thank Dr B he had organised the social worker to look for accomodation for the kids and I, he had also made arrangements for  that dreaded blood test. I still remember the kids in that little room with the nurse trying to make them feel at ease seeing mum having all this blood taken out.

At this point we were broke, David's pay hadn't gone thru on his sick leave. It was awful but the kids would try and cheer daddy up. We could see the alertness and improvement in David co ordination, he still had a bit of slurred speech,within a week of treatment he looked much better. 

I received my results after a week, I was negative. We were over the moon, not that I'm a special case because it has happened in the past but you don't hear about this sort of findings. With my results the girls didn't need to be tested.

So it was time for discharge and David could walk back to the car without assistance, his body reacted with all the medications given to him, but the list of the damn tablets and how many he had to take every day was off putting.

Dr B sent us home with a fighting chance at least David wasn't going to die sooner than what we thouhgt.

I'm a big fan of honesty and that was probably our down fall coming back to town. Obviously  Dr B had written a letter to our GP.  Was the  GP professional about it, well lets put it this way he wanted me in the room to make sure I knew what my husband had and  asked me point blank "are you sure you're not infected?". He was totally against David going back to work, even though he had the stamp of approval from the specialist.

This is  probably what pushed David over the edge mentally, he had a family to provide for but had to be re-assessed. Later we found out our GP whom was also David's co-worker shouldn't have taken on David's case nor mine.

We did tell a few of David's co-workers and they were supportive about it. This was the beginning of hell for David, the decision came down that he would need to be supervised at work (ironically David was a supervisor for all the other staff) because we were outback you could only have one supervisor per shift and therefore there was no job available for David.

Subsequently some mistakes were made by the director of nurses like leaving David's medical file open for other staff to read and conduct themselves in and unprofessional manner.

Most of David's career he conducted himself with the utmost  professionalism, he always educated the junior staff, the vast  experience and training to do work, he was always anaylsing  and was a problem solver.  It was a shame he felt so used after this setback.

I remember the GP's comment you can't treat client. Almost as if he hadn't heard of double gloving and using aseptic techniques. David was reassure that he could work by Dr B, so as there was no job for David in the outback we decided to move back to Sydney, he had an interview for a job lined up.

Our luck ran out in a sense, David was now pusehd to the limit with no work and having to be in Sydney for the job interview, we packed everything and began to drive, just as we were in the middle of nowhere the car engine ceased. This just precipitated a mental breakdown for David, he had left me and the kids in the next town we gave the car to the local fire department so they can torch and do some training with.

David was to meet me at Central in Sydney, he managed to get a lift down to Dubbo with a truckdriver. We got on the bus heading to Dubbo and then the train trip to Sydney. When we met David he was very intrusive to other people's comfort zone and short with the kids. That night he decided he wasn't feeling well at all, so it was a trip to the hospital.

That night the  staff diagnosed him with bipolar disorder. That morning I got a phone call telling me he was quite ill and they needed to keep David in for more test. His opportunity for the job interview was slipping thru his fingers. Unfortunately there was a big misunderstanding with staff; they thought the job interview was part of David's delusional stage  the psychiatrist on the phone literally said "Oh what have we done" after I had told him no that part is true he does have a job interview and I was bringing his suit in. They still wouldn't release him out of the hospital for the job interview and threaten to schedule him.

I'll leave it here now as there's more dramas to come….

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Our Destiny

 

 
I would like to introduce myself to you the readers. My name is Marina, I'm  a 36 year old female who was faced with the reality of HIV/AIDS in 2003.
 
 
Let me make it clear right now I do not have HIV nor AIDS but someone who is very close to me is. Who you ask? The answer to that question is it's my best friend and father of my children.
 
 
In 2003 I could see some changes to my partner, I could see him deteriorate health-wise, he lost so much weight, he was lethargic, the loss of  motor skills  and all we could point to  was perhaps he was  overworked. We were literally in the middle of nowhere in a mining town.
 
 
As we planned a vacation he decided to perhaps have some respite in town, my children and I were literally in a different state when he heard the news he was going into hospital but it was in another town. All we did was turn around and go back to be by his bedside. Even at this point the medicos thought it was a mental illness.
As we got to hospital we still didn't have answers, was it hard on me at this stage yes, I was with our beautiful children who needed  me and their daddy .
 
Less than a week went by when it was decided he could come home, the staff at this point wouldn't tell me a thing… reflecting now on the day I went to pick him up no staff member would face me look at me to answer my questions. As I got to the ward and coming round the corner I could hear this nurses talking about a patient "yeah and he' so gifted he would have had a promising career" and the response of the other nurse "yeah and the family don't know", as they looked up they scattered. Oddly enough I asked another staff member what's wrong with my husband , their response was "you have to talk to him" now I was furious I'm his next of kin but they hid behind  the privacy policy of disclosure.
 
I think he was happy to come home but he wasn't looking well at all, picture this a grown man who's been your rock for so many years, strong, tall and full of life now requiring you to take him to the toilet before he soiled himself and you had to feed him because he's hand shook so much nothing in the spoon was getting in his mouth. As it would have taken us more than 4 hours to get home we decided to stay in a motel overnight as we approached the town, I turned to him and asked him are you alright. He didn't respond, all I kept thinking was please god don't take him away from me.
 
Once settled in the room our kids were so happy to have daddy by their side, he had just had a shower and laid on the bed. I turned to him please tell me what's wrong, he turned to me and said "I have AIDS"….to many thoughts raised thru my mind. My ignorance of HIV and AIDS kicked in my fears of "Oh my god I am going to die and I have brought this kids into a world were they are going to loose both parents and themselves perish" obviously not the case.
 
I remember calling my mum that night and crying, I was still having thoughts of how can this happen to me, to my family. Let me tell you that night I went thru most of the grieving processes.
 
The following morning we set for home, I asked him why didn't you tell me earlier babe, when I first asked you" his response to this day makes me laugh" I thought if I told you, you would dump me by the side of the road in the middle of nowhere".
 
Love can conquer fear and struggles, he didn't understand that even though I wasn't sure of the future mine or our kids I was sticking with him.
 
When we got home I made the crucial appointment but that will be my next post. I don't want to overwhelm you with the twist that we faced, not yet anyway.
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