I would like to introduce myself to you the readers. My name is Marina, I'm a 36 year old female who was faced with the reality of HIV/AIDS in 2003.
Let me make it clear right now I do not have HIV nor AIDS but someone who is very close to me is. Who you ask? The answer to that question is it's my best friend and father of my children.
In 2003 I could see some changes to my partner, I could see him deteriorate health-wise, he lost so much weight, he was lethargic, the loss of motor skills and all we could point to was perhaps he was overworked. We were literally in the middle of nowhere in a mining town.
As we planned a vacation he decided to perhaps have some respite in town, my children and I were literally in a different state when he heard the news he was going into hospital but it was in another town. All we did was turn around and go back to be by his bedside. Even at this point the medicos thought it was a mental illness.
As we got to hospital we still didn't have answers, was it hard on me at this stage yes, I was with our beautiful children who needed me and their daddy .
Less than a week went by when it was decided he could come home, the staff at this point wouldn't tell me a thing… reflecting now on the day I went to pick him up no staff member would face me look at me to answer my questions. As I got to the ward and coming round the corner I could hear this nurses talking about a patient "yeah and he' so gifted he would have had a promising career" and the response of the other nurse "yeah and the family don't know", as they looked up they scattered. Oddly enough I asked another staff member what's wrong with my husband , their response was "you have to talk to him" now I was furious I'm his next of kin but they hid behind the privacy policy of disclosure.
I think he was happy to come home but he wasn't looking well at all, picture this a grown man who's been your rock for so many years, strong, tall and full of life now requiring you to take him to the toilet before he soiled himself and you had to feed him because he's hand shook so much nothing in the spoon was getting in his mouth. As it would have taken us more than 4 hours to get home we decided to stay in a motel overnight as we approached the town, I turned to him and asked him are you alright. He didn't respond, all I kept thinking was please god don't take him away from me.
Once settled in the room our kids were so happy to have daddy by their side, he had just had a shower and laid on the bed. I turned to him please tell me what's wrong, he turned to me and said "I have AIDS"….to many thoughts raised thru my mind. My ignorance of HIV and AIDS kicked in my fears of "Oh my god I am going to die and I have brought this kids into a world were they are going to loose both parents and themselves perish" obviously not the case.
I remember calling my mum that night and crying, I was still having thoughts of how can this happen to me, to my family. Let me tell you that night I went thru most of the grieving processes.
The following morning we set for home, I asked him why didn't you tell me earlier babe, when I first asked you" his response to this day makes me laugh" I thought if I told you, you would dump me by the side of the road in the middle of nowhere".
Love can conquer fear and struggles, he didn't understand that even though I wasn't sure of the future mine or our kids I was sticking with him.
When we got home I made the crucial appointment but that will be my next post. I don't want to overwhelm you with the twist that we faced, not yet anyway.
Marina was married to a man who had HIV. She has an amazing story about how she had to suddenly deal with the spectre of HIV. She conceived 2 children naturally and did not contract HIV. She witnessed the rapid decline in her husbands health when he developed AIDS. Following that she nursed him back to health. Although she is now divorced from her husband they remain really good friends.
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